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Just so you assholes know...

It's the eve of the release of The Dark Knight, and I've been telling everyone how I've thought it's going to turn out for months (at least).

Point is, here we go: Obviously the Joker isn't the focus of the movie (as the trailers would leave us to believe), but the main plot is going to be about Batman and Harvey Dent and Jim Gordon (and the whole GPD) working together to quash the criminal threat that rises up after the fall of Falcone's crime syndicate. The culmination of the film (after the Joker kills Dent's love interest, Rachel Dawes, and the Joker burns Dent's face) is going to be Dent spiraling into madness and anarchy, and he seeks revenge upon the man who did this to him: the Joker. Ultimately, Batman is going to have to stop Dent from killing the man he has been trying to stop the entire film, and it's up in the air whether or not Batman is going to be successful.

Either way, this is just for the record, so nobody can say, "You never said that!" Because I did. So fuck you all, and enjoy your midnight showing of The Dark Knight.

EDIT: So yeah, I was like 85-90% right. Imagine that! The Dark Knight was a resounding success across the board, but was it really a great movie? Does Heath Ledger deserve a posthumous Oscar? I'd wager "No," and "No," but hey, who am I to judge? I called most of the action in this movie. I guess that makes me a fucking dumbass. OH WELL!

Progressive scan kicks ass.

I finally received my Wii component cables in the mail today, much to my delight, effectively putting an end to the enhanced definition moratorium so wrongfully imposed upon me by only shipping Wiis with compositve video as the sole output option. I mean, c'mon, Microsoft was kind enough to include a composite/component hybrid cable in the box with their Xbox 360, so couldn't Nintendo at least follow suit? Apparently not.

Anyway, apathetic business practices aren't the focus of this post, so let me move on to what is: the Wii's progressive scan output. While I heard from other sources that running your Wii in 480p isn't worth the time or money to be invested, I can simply say, "Sorry, you're wrong. Dead wrong. And now I'm going to kill you." You have to understand one thing when I say this: I was running my console at the lowest possible resolution for video output (480i) through a composite connection. (I suppose that I could've been using an RF adapter for an even worse picture, but let's not pick nits, okay?) So when I hooked up the component cables and got everything running through my system selector, it was most definitely the proverbial "night and day" when I enabled progressive scan output in the Wii's settings. The colors are crisp, clear, and vibrant, and the overall resolution and sharpness of menus and text is incredible. I played Super Smash Bros. Brawl for a bit, and the in-game video is every bit as sharp and clear as I hoped it would be.

However, the one thing that's worth upgrading to progressive scan for on the Wii is the Virtual Console: all the VC games output at 480p. That's right, you're reading that correctly: you can now play classics like Super Mario 64 in progressive scan output. I fired up a few other VC titles I purchased (like Devil's Crush and Bomberman '93), and they fare incredibly well from the 480p treatment. What a nice little surprise from such a small investment ($29.99 + free shipping, or even less if you're a cheap asshole and don't mind third party bullshit).

Take my word for it, the difference is real, ladies and gents, and you must have it. God bless these cables.

Nintendo lies like a whore looking for a tip.

Here's the response I got from a Nintendo representative in regards to sales tax being applied to the online purchase of Wii Points:

Hi [Dirt],

Thanks for the e-mail. The reason Nintendo charges sales tax in your state is due to the fact that we have a company of some sort located there. All companies are required to collect sales tax from buyers in other states in which the company has a physical presence. A physical presence means having an office, a factory, a store, or a warehouse in that state. Nintendo has shipping, repair, or packaging facilities in each of the states for which it collects taxes.

I hope this is helpful in answering your question!

Sincerely,

Nintendo of America Inc.
Brandon Smith

So, now I have to jump through more fucking hoops and send another email asking what Nintendo's presence is in the good ol' state of Nebraska. I mean, I guess I'm just an ignorant redneck, but I don't remember ever hearing that Nintendo has any sort of "office, factory, store, warehouse, or shipping, repair, or packaging facilit[y]" in the 37th state to join the Union.

What a crock of shit.

Nintendo loves money.

So, I recently received the Wii I purchased from my good buddy Coal(miner), and while I loathe the system and its offerings overall, I can't deny that Super Smash Bros. Brawl is some incredibly great fun in spite of the fact that it's simply an expansion to the prior installment in the franchise. If it ain't broke, then don't fix it, right? Right.

But that's not why I'm writing this post. Seeing a few titles I wanted to pick up on the Virtual Console, I decided to purchase some Wii Points to snag said gems. Things were going well and fine until the final verification screen came up, and I saw that Nintendo has the gall to charge sales tax for their online transactions. Now, let's take this into perspective: Have you ever purchased anything online where sales tax was applied (aside from a situation where you live in a state that requires such taxes to be applied to online purchases, like Washington state)? Neither have I. Never on Amazon, Newegg, Tiger Direct, or even from the Xbox Live service that Nintendo's direct competitor, Microsoft, maintains. The negligible amount of cash I had to fork over in addition to the charge for the Wii Points didn't necessarily bother me so much as the principle behind it. I mean, if I live in Nebraska and Nebraska doesn't say that sales tax has to be applied to merchandise or services sold to one of the state's residents, then what is Nintendo doing with that seven percent they just tacked onto my purchase?

Curious about the situation, I sent an email to Nintendo's online support service. They act like they care about comments they receive, but I guess we'll see if that's true or not when I do/don't receive a reply. I'll keep you folks posted on the situation, and hopefully it'll make for another mundane and utterly insipid post for this incredibly engaging blog.

Until then!

Really? I mean, really?

I guess I don't get around the internet that much (most of the newest content I see is linked to me by my loser friends who browse the shit 24/7), but somehow I'm rather disappointed I missed this one on my own. It's a video of a bunch of Philippino inmates recreating Michael Jackson's legendary "Thriller" music video, and though the comments say that it's "definitely not a punishment," I think you'd have a hard time selling that idea to the guy (aka The Prison Rape Toy) who had to wear the hip-hugging jeans and the halter top. Observe:



Creepy shit, and how.

Mario Kart Wii Review

As promised, here it is ladies and gentlemen: your exclusive look at the Japanese release of Mario Kart Wii.

Today I was awoken from my drunken, dreamless sleep by the sound of rain falling outside. After I arouse from my stupor and slowly remembered what day it was (I at first thought it was May) I gathered my umbrella and backpack and set out. It was already past 2 o'clock, and Yamada Denki had already been open for four hours, so I was a little worried that they'd be out of stock. But fear not, the moment I walked into the video game nook I was greeted by those goofy Italians, Mario and Luigi.



Because I have an American Wii, I first had to buy a Japanese console. When I asked the cashier if they had anymore in stock, she told me they did (this isn't the US). In fact, the only thing they seemed to be sold out of was the special Mario Kart wheel controller casing. One is packed with each game, but if you really want, you can buy extras. Anyway, you can play the game with just the Wii controller itself, the Virtual Console classic controller, or a GameCube controller, so it doesn't really matter.

As soon as I got back home, I set up the new Japanese Wii and popped in the disc. Of course, the selling point of this game is the online, and -- at least for now -- it delivers. I immediately jumped into games with 11 other players and absolutely no lag, as you can see in the video below:



People are throwing all sorts of shit around. It's crazy! And it's really fun. But with the European launch set for tomorrow, and the Australian and American launches on April 24 and 27th, respectively, it's anybody's guess as to whether or not Nintendo has dedicated enough bandwidth to keep things running smoothly.

So in summary, here is what I think of Mario Kart Wii at the moment.

+ Online races are working flawlessly.
+ Two players can play online from the same console.
+ One character per kart, like it should be.
+ Lots of unlockables, which I haven't even touched upon yet.
+ The motorcycles and stunts add some depth to the play, and I think most people will be happy with the additions.

- Battle Mode is, for whatever reason, divided into teams. No free for all.
- There is sometimes a bit of loading time before getting into the online matches, but nothing serious.
- The drifting system has changed. Players no longer have to swing the stick back and forth, they're simply rewarded by how long they hold a turn. I'm having trouble adjusting to the switch and I still find myself pushing the D-Pad back and forth sometimes. It seems like it's been dumbed down a little, most likely for the coveted "casual gamer" market.

That's all for now. And if you're wondering, Dirt already bought my American Wii, for a real steal! Now it's back to drinking cheap liquor and racing. Wa Hah!